Forming a blended family is more about the journey than reaching a particular destination. Moments of sheer terror may mark parts of the trip, but the process of meeting those challenges together can be more rewarding than any travel brochure could possibly describe.
I’ve realize I'd been so busy focusing on getting to the destination, that I missed the real fun - the journey.
This happens all the time in a remarriage with children. You get remarried and can't wait to have a "family" again. Unfortunately, what frequently happens is that couples are completely blindsided by how things don't go smoothly in this family.
• Everyone isn't excited about being a family.
• People may not even like each other.
This is when everyone starts becoming very disillusioned and begins to think there's something wrong with this family. It's not acting like the previous one you were a part of. Parents start questioning whether they've made a huge mistake by creating this remarriage with children and may even begin thinking re-divorce.
I tell you, wait! Enjoy the journey. Research has shown us time and again that it can take up to 7 years for a remarriage with children to begin to feel comfortable and really function well together. That's a LONG journey in order to get to your destination of "comfortable."
If all you do is focus on what's wrong right now, you miss out on a lot of really cool times. Keep your eyes open for those times when your family life is calm - even if it's for a few moments. Those sightings are what will let you know you're heading in the right direction and aren't lost.
While the journey in a remarriage with children may be long and perilous, there's a rich and satisfying destination for those brave enough to remain on the path. That path is often difficult to navigate and often I’ve felt that I’ve fallen and have no more energy to pick myself up, dust of the dirt, and keep on trucking.
No comments:
Post a Comment