Twelve years ago I graduated from college and put away my backpack along with my diaries, senior paper, and my high school memory book that my mother had lovingly put together for me. A few nights ago I pulled out my backpack to get it ready for August 19, first night of school for the next few years, and found those items I had long packed away and had forgotten about. Looking at the memory book brought back many fond memories of times gone by, shared with many friends who have long moved on and many who I still share a deep and binding friendship that spans over 25 years.
Twelve years ago I didn’t imagine myself where I am today nor foresaw all of the people who have come in and out of my life. They say people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They may seem like a Godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will bring the relationship to an end. In my 37 years, I’ve had various people who’ve come into my life for a reason; many I can see their face in my mind's eye but can’t recall their names. However, some do have lasting impact. Steve, my boss at Green Mill gave me my second son’s name. I am reminded of his impact on my life every time I’m asked where I got Jaden’s name. Connie, my ex step-mom taught me how to make a killer lasagna with cottage cheese instead of ricotta. Derek protected me when I needed it the most in high school. And Patrick taught me to love oven fired gourmet pizza and the value of hard work. Then over time they faded out of my life because the need has been met, the desire fulfilled, and their work is done. The prayer I sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Again, I have had the privilege of experiencing the season with some treasured friends. I moved to California during this season. Angelina came to be during this season. The many hands that helped me raise my children appeared during this time in my life. What I had thought was the darkest time of my life at the time, turned out to be more of a gift than I could ever repay. Upon reflection, I see how I also impacted the lives of many Kats; they were college students who needed someone to be on their side and fight for them, they needed a mother and a friend who would feed and listen to them without the nagging that they would get from their real mother.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. I am fortunate to say that I can count my lifetime relationship on both hands. I have friends I keep in touch with on a daily basis because I feel that a critical part of me is empty until I hear from them. They know what I’m thinking or wanting to say even before I say it. They understand and accept my teasing and can dish it right back without offending or being offended. A few others, I chat with every few months, but we always pick up where we left off. The comfort of that kind of relationship is amazing beyond words. These are also the friends I know who will be there with me til the end; ones who will comfort me and just let me cry; ones who will laugh at my ghetto stories and share their own; ones that will allow me to be myself and not judge. I have no doubt that these are the friends who will share the pains of child birth, child rearing, and rejoice with me in my children’s milestones as well as shed tears of joy and pain with me for many more years to come.
As I enter this new phase of my life, I am comforted in knowing that I have many friends encouraging me along the way and who will be there to congratulate me when I am Master Ami. Through my blogging, since we live in an electronic age, I’m hoping to leave my children with a legacy of many friends who will journey with them through the phases of their lives because friendships double their joys and divide their sorrows.
