God, give me patience...

As I mentioned in the previous blog that I prayed for two things: More children and patience. My constant prayer, once I had children, was “God, give me patience…” It was pointed out to me by friends in my small group that God doesn’t give you patience; He puts you in situations to help you learn patience. Needless to say, since this revelation, I’ve stopped praying for patience.

I am, what some would call, a “neat freak,” though I’ve also been told that I am obsessive compulsive about cleanliness. Just because I have my children wipe themselves down with baby wipes before getting into the car doesn’t make me obsessive compulsive does it? In my defense, they had been rolling around in dirt at the local baseball field! That dirt sticks to you like baby powder and gets everywhere! If these were your children, you’d have them do the same. Wouldn’t you? Cleaning the children is easier than cleaning the car.

I love order and believe that all things have a place in some drawer, closet, cabinet, etc. I like my environment dust free, my desk neat and tidy, my bed made, my clothes put away according to color, size, and season, my shoes in their box or neatly lined up on the floor of my closet. I wasn’t always like this, but seeing the clutter at my grandma’s house and my mother’s house over the years have convinced me I cannot live with clutter and disorder.

Of course, my children find my “neatness” to be, at times, frustrating because I want them to be “neat freaks” too. They don’t understand why they have to line their shoes up outside the garage door, why their towels have to be folded into thirds, and they especially don’t understand why, even though we have a house keeper, they still have to clean every Sunday.

“Oh! WHY ME?!” In mean, “God, give me patience as I head upstairs to check out their rooms” is my silent prayer as I climb the steps. Not only am I not sentimental about childhood “stuff” like marbles, polly pockets, and legos, I don’t keep every little drawing or painting sent home from school either. I tend to go on mad cleaning sprees and throw out everything I deem “garbage.” However, the children have since learned to bargain with me; they asked that I not touch anything on their desk, in their drawers, or in their special box of keepsake. I have agreed, for now.

“God give me patience as the house is filled up with seven kids and their friends.” Seven kids with friends running up and down the stairs sounds like a herd of elephants have take over my house. I am raising kids, NOT elephants! You see, by nature I am not a loud person; I like soft music, “indoor” voices, and quiet (except for the TV airing the Vikings football game) in the home. It’s impossible to ask for that with seven kids who have very busy social calendars! My husband tells me that someday I will miss all of this commotion… Maybe someday I will, but for now, can’t they use indoor voices and walk with soft feet?

“God, give me patience as I try my best to be a mom to all seven kids.” How do I be a mom but not a mom to the other four kids? They have a mom so that’s not my role; but what is my role? If I hug on them, am I making them feel uncomfortable? If I tell them I have love them, do they then feel that they’re betraying their mom by responding? “Lord, give me patience today as I keep trying to do what is right for the children you’ve entrusted into my care.”

“God, give me patience with the children” is the prayer I don’t dare utter anymore for fear of new “tests” being thrown my way. Daily, I’m still being challenged, stretched, and having to learn to be a mom to seven kids rather than three. The “neat freak” in me still exists but I’ve been recently assured by the authors of “Every Man’s Marriage” that that is my essence and my home is my nest and the center of my universe. “Mother wants things just so in order to feel she’s doing everything right.” Of course, this doesn’t mean my husband and children can sympathize and understand this inner desire of mine, which then tests my patience once again.

God, give me patience….