I’ve been accepted to Sacramento State for Grad School starting Fall 2010; it’s a two year Education program. When I told friends and family, I got mixed reactions ranging from, “Are you crazy?” “Congrats! I think you’re amazing to tackle grad school and the Brady bunch.” “Master Ami.” And, “I’ll be praying for you.”
It’s been one of my goals to someday earn my PhD and this is the first step towards that goal. But unlike my undergraduate education, my graduate work will be in my field of work, delving narrower and deeper into my chosen profession. I’m also told I will have a much closer relationship with my professors, which means no “getting by” because they’ll expect more from me as well. Grad school will also allow me to immerse myself in what I am really passionate about, which are undergraduate students at the University. And aside from gaining an advantage over others in my career, more education means more money. More money is always good!
The benefits of an advanced degree are numerous, and so are the reasons for earning one, however I do have to wonder, “Am I crazy for taking one more thing on?” I guess the answer would be “Yes!” if I weren’t learning to say “no.” I’ve informed the Children Pastor at our church that come September I’ll have to take a step back. I’m contemplating my resignation as Secretary of the soccer board. I’m learning to walk away at 4pm and not take work home. I’m going to try harder to find a replacement for myself on the PTA board. And I’ve asked my husband to “step it up a notch” come September. These are baby steps in reaching my goal.
Questions that were asked of me during my decision process were, “Can you juggle multiple tasks, projects, and papers at once?” And, “Can you manage time effectively?” I think I’ve already experimented, tested, and lived out my findings in these areas, I just need a degree that tells me I’ve mastered it.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I'm just like my mom!
The other evening I was having a typical struggle with my six year old daughter over whether or not she could wear a particular outfit when it happened. I opened my mouth, intending to say one thing, and the words of my mother popped out instead! When did I start sounding just like mom?
I’m sure many moms can relate! How many times have you told yourself “If I’m ever a mother, I’ll never do _____________ like my mom…”. And one of the most painful things for a woman to hear is the casually tossed “You’re just like your mother…”
I’ve been thinking about the mom/daughter relationship a lot lately because my daughter is sounding more and more like me. “Will she grow up to be like me?” I wonder? “And, if she does, is that a good thing?”
There’s one thing that I’m certain about: my relationship with my mom shapes and molds my personality. Maybe it prompts me to strive for the same qualities, it might hold me back from my true potential, or perhaps it pushes me to achieve something more than my mom was ever able to reach.
“Did I grow up to be just like my mom?”
1. What one personality trait of my mom had the most influence on my life? For example, my mom taught me loyalty to family. I would often hear her complain about my grandparents’ demand for her time, her siblings’ indecisiveness and poor decisions. But through it all, she’ll go out of her way to take care of everyone in the family, even her grown children.
2. What one lesson has my mom taught me that has carried with me over the years? My mom instilled a love of learning that I will be grateful for the rest of my life. She showed me, through her own life that you’re never too old to go to school and learn. At 31, she immigrated to the US, learned English, went to college, and found a career that she is passionate about.
While I never did inherit my mom’s creative skills, I hope that I can use her “never say never” attitude to enhance my life, and pass on her thirst for excellence to my own children in whatever they become interested in.
So, did I grow up to be just like my mom? Who cares! The more important question is: have the qualities my mom shared and the lessons I’ve learned helped me to make my own way in the world? As I look back at our relationship and all of the lessons I’ve learned from my mom, I thank God for the chance to use those lessons to develop the traits and ideals I want to pass to my children.
I’m sure many moms can relate! How many times have you told yourself “If I’m ever a mother, I’ll never do _____________ like my mom…”. And one of the most painful things for a woman to hear is the casually tossed “You’re just like your mother…”
I’ve been thinking about the mom/daughter relationship a lot lately because my daughter is sounding more and more like me. “Will she grow up to be like me?” I wonder? “And, if she does, is that a good thing?”
There’s one thing that I’m certain about: my relationship with my mom shapes and molds my personality. Maybe it prompts me to strive for the same qualities, it might hold me back from my true potential, or perhaps it pushes me to achieve something more than my mom was ever able to reach.
“Did I grow up to be just like my mom?”
1. What one personality trait of my mom had the most influence on my life? For example, my mom taught me loyalty to family. I would often hear her complain about my grandparents’ demand for her time, her siblings’ indecisiveness and poor decisions. But through it all, she’ll go out of her way to take care of everyone in the family, even her grown children.
2. What one lesson has my mom taught me that has carried with me over the years? My mom instilled a love of learning that I will be grateful for the rest of my life. She showed me, through her own life that you’re never too old to go to school and learn. At 31, she immigrated to the US, learned English, went to college, and found a career that she is passionate about.
While I never did inherit my mom’s creative skills, I hope that I can use her “never say never” attitude to enhance my life, and pass on her thirst for excellence to my own children in whatever they become interested in.
So, did I grow up to be just like my mom? Who cares! The more important question is: have the qualities my mom shared and the lessons I’ve learned helped me to make my own way in the world? As I look back at our relationship and all of the lessons I’ve learned from my mom, I thank God for the chance to use those lessons to develop the traits and ideals I want to pass to my children.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Girlfriends
A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are.
In reading this, I came to the realization that the longest relationship I have with one of my girlfriend goes back to 25+ years. That’s longer than any marriage I’ve been in! She and her family had a hand in shaping me into the person I am today.
My other girlfriend has been at the end of many frantic and frustrated E-mails about exes. She’s always been good at letting me vent and just ramble on and on, on E-mail, even when it didn’t make sense and I didn’t feel like proofreading or using spell check. She knows me well enough to decipher my messages.
Another comforted me when I was faced with one of the hardest decision I’ve had to make in my life and was the first person at the hospital to help me welcome Beans into the world.
Yet another took my call at midnight and talked with me until 3am. She had to make sure I was OK first before she would allow me to hang up.
Other friends have been the nannies I needed when I was raising three kids alone. In return, I just had to feed them. They also taught me to cook for an army, or in this case, some very hungry college students.
Another friend has been my sounding board and is my constant reminder of what the Bible says is right. Sometimes, I don’t really want to talk to her but I do appreciate her sending me, “God Breathes on Blended Families” and adding me to her prayer list.
A few even allowed for a very inebriated New Year and held my hair as I clung to the toilet bowl, knowing all too well that reliving the past isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
Recently, they’ve been there during my difficult days as a mom, step-mom, wife, ex-wife, etc. They’ve allowed me to vent, cuss, and cry all the while acknowledging what I’m saying and occasionally make a joke out of the situation, putting it all in perspective for me. They’ve also allowed me the “WTF am I going to do in counseling with my ex husband’s wife?!”
They’ve been my sisters in good and bad times and we’ve waned in and out of various stages of our relationship, but through the years, I’ve found these things to be true of my friends:
1. They’ve given feedback (criticism) gently but truthfully.
2. They’ve accepted my flaw du jour. (“Am I just being a bitch?!”)
3. They’ve been physically present during crisis and traumas.
4. They’ve listened--even when totally sick of hearing me ramble for the umpteenth time about "nothing."
5. They laughed at me and with me; and have taught me to find humor in my chronic faux pas and ludicrous situations.
6. They shared my struggles.
7. They supported my wild hairs (tangents) until I figured out my own truth. ("A 'born-again virgin'? Makes sense to me.")
8. And the most important reason for our lasting friendships: LIE. (Once in awhile you just have to say "I think you look great in your favorite leopard tights." Finger crossing is allowed!)
In reading this, I came to the realization that the longest relationship I have with one of my girlfriend goes back to 25+ years. That’s longer than any marriage I’ve been in! She and her family had a hand in shaping me into the person I am today.
My other girlfriend has been at the end of many frantic and frustrated E-mails about exes. She’s always been good at letting me vent and just ramble on and on, on E-mail, even when it didn’t make sense and I didn’t feel like proofreading or using spell check. She knows me well enough to decipher my messages.
Another comforted me when I was faced with one of the hardest decision I’ve had to make in my life and was the first person at the hospital to help me welcome Beans into the world.
Yet another took my call at midnight and talked with me until 3am. She had to make sure I was OK first before she would allow me to hang up.
Other friends have been the nannies I needed when I was raising three kids alone. In return, I just had to feed them. They also taught me to cook for an army, or in this case, some very hungry college students.
Another friend has been my sounding board and is my constant reminder of what the Bible says is right. Sometimes, I don’t really want to talk to her but I do appreciate her sending me, “God Breathes on Blended Families” and adding me to her prayer list.
A few even allowed for a very inebriated New Year and held my hair as I clung to the toilet bowl, knowing all too well that reliving the past isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
Recently, they’ve been there during my difficult days as a mom, step-mom, wife, ex-wife, etc. They’ve allowed me to vent, cuss, and cry all the while acknowledging what I’m saying and occasionally make a joke out of the situation, putting it all in perspective for me. They’ve also allowed me the “WTF am I going to do in counseling with my ex husband’s wife?!”
They’ve been my sisters in good and bad times and we’ve waned in and out of various stages of our relationship, but through the years, I’ve found these things to be true of my friends:
1. They’ve given feedback (criticism) gently but truthfully.
2. They’ve accepted my flaw du jour. (“Am I just being a bitch?!”)
3. They’ve been physically present during crisis and traumas.
4. They’ve listened--even when totally sick of hearing me ramble for the umpteenth time about "nothing."
5. They laughed at me and with me; and have taught me to find humor in my chronic faux pas and ludicrous situations.
6. They shared my struggles.
7. They supported my wild hairs (tangents) until I figured out my own truth. ("A 'born-again virgin'? Makes sense to me.")
8. And the most important reason for our lasting friendships: LIE. (Once in awhile you just have to say "I think you look great in your favorite leopard tights." Finger crossing is allowed!)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Simpler Life
This question of financial lack is important. After all, if Christianity is true, if God owns everything, if He is love, if He is the God of all provision, why do many of His precious children struggle in under lack of finance and/or debt? Like many people who’ve been hit hard by the economy, we’re finding a lot of creative ways to spend our time together, as a family.
We’ve turned our formal living room into a library and have spent some time in there just reading.
Pictionary, Texas Hold ‘Em, Singing Bee, Wii Resort, and Trivia Pursuit are a few games we’ve played together. Texas Hold ‘Em with 7 kids is SO predictable!
Throwing the baseball around outside; hopefully not hitting the dog square in the head.
Going on bike rides around the neighborhood and laughing at each other when our pant legs get caught in the chain.
Basketball games with the neighborhood kids.
Movie nights, with $1 movies from Redbox, and microwave popcorn is always a hit on Friday or Saturday nights.
The girls and I will spend hours scrap booking together. It’s always fun to see the end result.
And during major rain and wind storms, we have no power, so doing things by candle light is a treat. It’s as if we live in a time before electricity was invented. The kids love being able to light all the candles in the house.
Financially, it’s been a struggle for us and I know it wears on my husband. However, out of the darkness, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Because we do not have the extra discretionary income, we’ve gone back to a “simpler life” and to my surprise; the kids have embraced it and have enjoyed the time with us.
I just need to remember that often times we are doing nothing wrong but still have financial struggles. It can be a part of the training God is putting us through in order to develop us into the people He wants us to be. He wants us to have faith and trust in Him alone. He is our Source. Sometimes He takes away all external support so we can learn that He is our Supply and He doesn't need any help. Many Biblical people went through this: Job, Joseph, Moses, David, and even Jesus Himself. It has also been the experience of many Godly people since then. Financial struggles are not necessarily a sign of sin or wrong doing. They can be a part of the processes of God to work something greater in our lives and our ability to reach others. Many times there is financial reward when we come through the tests successfully.
We’ve turned our formal living room into a library and have spent some time in there just reading.
Pictionary, Texas Hold ‘Em, Singing Bee, Wii Resort, and Trivia Pursuit are a few games we’ve played together. Texas Hold ‘Em with 7 kids is SO predictable!
Throwing the baseball around outside; hopefully not hitting the dog square in the head.
Going on bike rides around the neighborhood and laughing at each other when our pant legs get caught in the chain.
Basketball games with the neighborhood kids.
Movie nights, with $1 movies from Redbox, and microwave popcorn is always a hit on Friday or Saturday nights.
The girls and I will spend hours scrap booking together. It’s always fun to see the end result.
And during major rain and wind storms, we have no power, so doing things by candle light is a treat. It’s as if we live in a time before electricity was invented. The kids love being able to light all the candles in the house.
Financially, it’s been a struggle for us and I know it wears on my husband. However, out of the darkness, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Because we do not have the extra discretionary income, we’ve gone back to a “simpler life” and to my surprise; the kids have embraced it and have enjoyed the time with us.
I just need to remember that often times we are doing nothing wrong but still have financial struggles. It can be a part of the training God is putting us through in order to develop us into the people He wants us to be. He wants us to have faith and trust in Him alone. He is our Source. Sometimes He takes away all external support so we can learn that He is our Supply and He doesn't need any help. Many Biblical people went through this: Job, Joseph, Moses, David, and even Jesus Himself. It has also been the experience of many Godly people since then. Financial struggles are not necessarily a sign of sin or wrong doing. They can be a part of the processes of God to work something greater in our lives and our ability to reach others. Many times there is financial reward when we come through the tests successfully.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
New Year's Resolution
Tradition dictates that every 365 days, you should try to kick bad habits and start your life anew. A New Year's resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day. Some examples include resolutions to donate to the poor more often, to become more assertive, or to become more environmentally responsible.
My resolution was to be nice. Simple enough right? Wrong! Because I grew up with divorced parents who were not pleasant to each other and there were clear limits set between them, this is what I’ve come to know in my divorced life. I believe there need to be clear boundary lines between exes and new spouses. I don’t think it’s OK for exes to come into my house and make themselves comfortable. That is a lack of respect and clear boundaries. However, I noticed that not everyone grew up with these clear boundaries. For example, Curt’s ex wife (Brandi) grew up with exes and new significant others intermingling and it was no big deal. And it’s still not a big deal in her circle of knowledge.
Aside from Brandi making herself comfortable in my home, she and I have never had a good relationship; there has always been friction between us, mostly because I’ve taken offense to the many things she’s said and done. I’ve asked my husband how he can just let bygones be bygones?! He reminded me “For if you forgive their trespasses (their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment) your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Why does he have to be right?!
So, my New Year’s Resolution is to forgive and be nice. I have to admit though that this will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! Love thy enemies is never easy. But if I’m to live according to God’s words then I need to admit that I have sinned and confess my sins because He is faithful and just and will forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
The other person whom I’ve already started this process with is my ex husband’s wife (Jennifer). I’ve come to realize that he is horrible at communication and scheduling, and since she is a big part of my sons’ lives, I need to make more of an effort to communicate with her about schedules and coordinating activities. As I write this, we’ve had four positive interactions. Thank God for small miracles!
Pray for me this weekend, as this will be the first time I encounter Brandi since my New Year’s Resolution. Saint Augustine said, “Faith is to believe what we do not see…” So very true because the rewards for my pledge will probably not bear fruit for years to come or even in my lifetime. What I need to do is to rest in faith that my children's children will be blessed because I would have done what is right, no matter how awkward it may feel for me.
My resolution was to be nice. Simple enough right? Wrong! Because I grew up with divorced parents who were not pleasant to each other and there were clear limits set between them, this is what I’ve come to know in my divorced life. I believe there need to be clear boundary lines between exes and new spouses. I don’t think it’s OK for exes to come into my house and make themselves comfortable. That is a lack of respect and clear boundaries. However, I noticed that not everyone grew up with these clear boundaries. For example, Curt’s ex wife (Brandi) grew up with exes and new significant others intermingling and it was no big deal. And it’s still not a big deal in her circle of knowledge.
Aside from Brandi making herself comfortable in my home, she and I have never had a good relationship; there has always been friction between us, mostly because I’ve taken offense to the many things she’s said and done. I’ve asked my husband how he can just let bygones be bygones?! He reminded me “For if you forgive their trespasses (their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment) your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Why does he have to be right?!
So, my New Year’s Resolution is to forgive and be nice. I have to admit though that this will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! Love thy enemies is never easy. But if I’m to live according to God’s words then I need to admit that I have sinned and confess my sins because He is faithful and just and will forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
The other person whom I’ve already started this process with is my ex husband’s wife (Jennifer). I’ve come to realize that he is horrible at communication and scheduling, and since she is a big part of my sons’ lives, I need to make more of an effort to communicate with her about schedules and coordinating activities. As I write this, we’ve had four positive interactions. Thank God for small miracles!
Pray for me this weekend, as this will be the first time I encounter Brandi since my New Year’s Resolution. Saint Augustine said, “Faith is to believe what we do not see…” So very true because the rewards for my pledge will probably not bear fruit for years to come or even in my lifetime. What I need to do is to rest in faith that my children's children will be blessed because I would have done what is right, no matter how awkward it may feel for me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Curt's Story
I was born in Rio Vista Ca. the youngest of four brothers and a sister. When I was five years old my parents divorced. Growing up with divorced parents was never easy but looking back, there were three people in my life who shaped me into the man I am today.
My mom had to get a job and struggled to provide for her family. Somehow she always found a way to make ends meet. We never had abundance and most of the time we had barely enough. I remember my mom crying many times because she just didn’t know how she was going to make it work. At one point she went on food stamps because there was no other way. She never wanted to do that because she always told us that it was for those who absolutely needed it and she didn’t want others to have to provide for her responsibility. She soon got another job and was able to get by without the food stamps. Not that we were any better off but that she was able to just squeak by. She went to the welfare office to tell the social worker that she didn’t need the food stamps anymore. And the social worker said she couldn’t because she still qualified for them. But my mom told her that she was able to make it work without them. They argued back and forth but my mom won the argument. Personally I wish she would have lost back then, it would have made it easier. What I didn’t understand, but I do now, is that she was teaching me that the easy choices are not always the best choices.
When I was 13 years old I went to live with my dad and step mom in Sacramento because of the trouble I was getting into living with my mom. My dad already had another life established in Sacramento, without kids, but with some convincing from my uncle he let me move in with him. I did not feel welcomed in my father’s home because I was not a part of his plans and I was a bad kid with a chip on his shoulder. I didn’t appreciate all that he and my step mom were doing for me; I expected a lot from them and didn’t think I had to do anything to earn it. I believed that my dad had a lot to make up for so I didn’t think I had to take responsibility for our relationship.
My dad also had a drinking problem. At least once a week (sometimes more) he would come home drunk, usually from bowling on Wednesday night. He would come into my room wanting to talk, he would tell me how much he loved me and that he was sorry for the way things turned out. Inevitably, it would always turn into him yelling at me and blaming me for things that were wrong in his life. There was no reasoning with him because he was drunk.
From these one sided “talks” I had with my father, I learned how to deal with people who are drunk. Most people try to reason with people that are drunk but you can’t and if you try you just get frustrated.
My father died when I was 19 years. Though he was not present for much of my life, he did teach me a few things:
1. Respect my roots
2. Hard work
3. Humor
At 16, I left my father’s house and moved in with my older brother Vince. He was the father and friend I needed. He was always there for me when I had any problems. He would take me to his baseball games or out with his friends. Whenever I needed anything I knew I could always count on him. Through the years, he’s taught me the value of hard work and loving your family.
To most, it would appear that I had a horrible childhood. To me, it was real and I made the best of what I was given. And perhaps, through the years, the bad memories tend to fade and are replaced with happier times.
My mom had to get a job and struggled to provide for her family. Somehow she always found a way to make ends meet. We never had abundance and most of the time we had barely enough. I remember my mom crying many times because she just didn’t know how she was going to make it work. At one point she went on food stamps because there was no other way. She never wanted to do that because she always told us that it was for those who absolutely needed it and she didn’t want others to have to provide for her responsibility. She soon got another job and was able to get by without the food stamps. Not that we were any better off but that she was able to just squeak by. She went to the welfare office to tell the social worker that she didn’t need the food stamps anymore. And the social worker said she couldn’t because she still qualified for them. But my mom told her that she was able to make it work without them. They argued back and forth but my mom won the argument. Personally I wish she would have lost back then, it would have made it easier. What I didn’t understand, but I do now, is that she was teaching me that the easy choices are not always the best choices.
When I was 13 years old I went to live with my dad and step mom in Sacramento because of the trouble I was getting into living with my mom. My dad already had another life established in Sacramento, without kids, but with some convincing from my uncle he let me move in with him. I did not feel welcomed in my father’s home because I was not a part of his plans and I was a bad kid with a chip on his shoulder. I didn’t appreciate all that he and my step mom were doing for me; I expected a lot from them and didn’t think I had to do anything to earn it. I believed that my dad had a lot to make up for so I didn’t think I had to take responsibility for our relationship.
My dad also had a drinking problem. At least once a week (sometimes more) he would come home drunk, usually from bowling on Wednesday night. He would come into my room wanting to talk, he would tell me how much he loved me and that he was sorry for the way things turned out. Inevitably, it would always turn into him yelling at me and blaming me for things that were wrong in his life. There was no reasoning with him because he was drunk.
From these one sided “talks” I had with my father, I learned how to deal with people who are drunk. Most people try to reason with people that are drunk but you can’t and if you try you just get frustrated.
My father died when I was 19 years. Though he was not present for much of my life, he did teach me a few things:
1. Respect my roots
2. Hard work
3. Humor
At 16, I left my father’s house and moved in with my older brother Vince. He was the father and friend I needed. He was always there for me when I had any problems. He would take me to his baseball games or out with his friends. Whenever I needed anything I knew I could always count on him. Through the years, he’s taught me the value of hard work and loving your family.
To most, it would appear that I had a horrible childhood. To me, it was real and I made the best of what I was given. And perhaps, through the years, the bad memories tend to fade and are replaced with happier times.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Power of Words
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep,and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
Years ago a girlfriend called me up, excited that her boyfriend called and asked her about “the kids.” For her, this was a big “next step” in their relationship. For me, I learned that day about the power of words.
Curt and I recently had a talk about how he speaks in terms of “I” or “me.” I told him that by not using “us,” “we,” or “our” he’s not acknowledging me and my role in this family. He explained it was not his intent to exclude me or to hurt me with those words. He explained that when he says “I” or “me” he is referring to me as well. I explained to him that that is not what his words convey. Needless to say, we don’t see eye to eye on this. Though I am his wife, and we are one, I cannot hear intent. Words are powerful, they carry positive or negative connotations and they express unity or individuality.
When speaking to others I endeavor to speak of “the children” or “our children” unless I’m explaining the dynamics of our blended family and which children belong to which parent. I refer to me in terms of “us,” “we,” and “our.” This lets people know I am a part of a larger family unit; that I am a wife and mother (to a tribe).
My girlfriend’s conversation has stayed with me through the years and I finally understand her excitement over “the kids” because the connotation is that her boyfriend values her kids and hopes to someday be a permanent part of their lives. Just as Curt using the words “we” or “us” would illustrate that I am in his and the children’s lives.
In analyzing my conversation with Curt, I am reminded that for six days God spoke and it was so. The words we speak have just as much authority because we were created in His image.
2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep,and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
Years ago a girlfriend called me up, excited that her boyfriend called and asked her about “the kids.” For her, this was a big “next step” in their relationship. For me, I learned that day about the power of words.
Curt and I recently had a talk about how he speaks in terms of “I” or “me.” I told him that by not using “us,” “we,” or “our” he’s not acknowledging me and my role in this family. He explained it was not his intent to exclude me or to hurt me with those words. He explained that when he says “I” or “me” he is referring to me as well. I explained to him that that is not what his words convey. Needless to say, we don’t see eye to eye on this. Though I am his wife, and we are one, I cannot hear intent. Words are powerful, they carry positive or negative connotations and they express unity or individuality.
When speaking to others I endeavor to speak of “the children” or “our children” unless I’m explaining the dynamics of our blended family and which children belong to which parent. I refer to me in terms of “us,” “we,” and “our.” This lets people know I am a part of a larger family unit; that I am a wife and mother (to a tribe).
My girlfriend’s conversation has stayed with me through the years and I finally understand her excitement over “the kids” because the connotation is that her boyfriend values her kids and hopes to someday be a permanent part of their lives. Just as Curt using the words “we” or “us” would illustrate that I am in his and the children’s lives.
In analyzing my conversation with Curt, I am reminded that for six days God spoke and it was so. The words we speak have just as much authority because we were created in His image.
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