Doctor's Visit

As I sit at the car wash, waiting for my car to be restored to it's "like new" condition, I had some time to reflect on the latest blended family drama. As the Drama Turns....

My husband and I recently had a conversation about me being more involved in the step-childrens' lives (that's another blog altogether) such as attending parent/teacher conferences, doctor appointments, etc. The opportunity to do this recently presented itself when Kim (our oldest) had a doctor's appointment with a specialist at Kaiser. Curt wanted me to go, I wanted to go, the ex-wife didn't. She expressed it loud and clear to Curt and I, stating that I am neither Kim's mother or father and that this appointment should only be for her mother and father. Am I not a mother in every sense of the word? Though I didn't birth her, I am everything that a mother is because I didn't only marry Curt but I married his children as well. However, knowing how the ex-weife felt I was torn; should I go or shouldn't I go? Would me going to this appointment make Curt feel put in the middle having to choose between me, his daughter, and his ex-wife? Would me being there make it uncomfortable for Kim? I had a lot of questions...

On the advice of a dear friend (thank you friend), I went, kept my mouth shut, and only asked one question when the opportunity presented itself.

Overall, it wasn't as painful as I had thought it would be. I kept repeating, "Love thy enemies." As hard as this is to do, God was reminding me that love isn't always easy.

On the other hand, I think the ex-wife had a very hard time with this and felt extremely uncomfortable with me there. She lashed out at Curt and made remarks such as "Oh, she doesn't need her father?!" And called him a "jerk" when he opted to not stay for the blood draw. What saddens me about this is that Kim was there, witnessing all of this.

I'm not sure if all of this anger was because I was there and I made her uncomfortable or from something else altogether unrelated. Wherever it comes from, I continue to pray for her, for Curt, for the kids, and for our family. This is NOT an easy situation by any means! And it was only a doctor's appointment. I pray that graduations, wedding, and births aren't all this dramatic.

Upon reflecting on this situation, I ask myself if there was anything I could have done differently. Your thoughts? One of the hardest thing that God asks us to do (in my humble opinion) is to bless our enemies. My flesh wants nothing more than to curse my enemies. My spirit, on the other hand, knows better. So the praying continues and so does the constant asking for forgiveness.